Loneliness

What is the definition of human attraction? Why do we gravitate and swell toward each other, just so we can know that another person holds us in their hearts, if only for a brief glimpse of tomorrow?
As I take another gulp of cereal in Buckley Dining Hall at 7:30 in the morning, I notice things. I notice people consciously deny the company of others, but still hope, like a revenant traveler returning home, that someone will notice them and sit down beside them. I notice this, because I notice it within myself.

We are such a lonely race. The way we sway, meandering along a broken path as we walk, careful not to bump into each other. But still we bump. We look for excuses to just touch each other; to simply graze a sweater’s shoulder for the acumen sensation human contact. Has anyone wordlessly grasped your shoulder, especially someone of the opposite sex, and then quickly retreated their hand to their hooded pockets? That is only a shadow of what I am talking about.

Maybe we’ve analyzed it too much. Maybe we just want to be touched.

I’ve been compulsively searching, sifting through the hordes of people on the Facebook to discover, or rediscover rather, all of the people I knew in Middle School, or maybe even earlier than that. However, these new entities are no longer the people I knew; no longer the ones I traded words and laughs and songs with. The only resemblance they bear, like snide epitaph on the tomb of their past, is the echo of childish looks etched into their faces. Their smiles, their glares, their faces, and stares; all of it…is the same. These are the people of my past, and I of theirs, simply passing through time as we age…but we are still connected, no matter how thin the string wears or how far it stretches. It is still there. And my memories have never been clearer.


People say to stop and smell the roses. Rather, why not stop and just look at each other. Then we’ll see what it’s all about. Why we must be together. We are connected by our race, by our spirits, by our very existence. Our coexistence with each other.

So maybe, in our own instinct, we have seen the future. We must stick together. In order to survive, we cannot stand alone…as I have done.

I am rediscovering a family; a very large family. And just like any family, sometimes we lose track of each other, of our spitlines, of our bloodlines, and of our friends. The point is that we never forget the glimpses. We never forget the glares. We are still here.

We are all. Still. Here.


Well, I’m feeling sentimental and tired. I think I need a girlfriend. Goodnight. Thank you for reading.

Over and Out,
Adam