Happy New Year

As I sit here, my little labbook turned journal strangely misplaced, I toast to Firefly and wonder about the past.

It has been an intriguing year. I've been through a lot, I think, and soon, it seems, recovery may be on the horizon. Plenty of bruises, lots of yelling, many many concerts, more yelling, a few cold stares filled with sorrow and disappointment, at least two broken hearts and not enough band-aids for any of them, a challenged friendship, a short-lived romance, a straying faith, a light at the end of the tunnel, a separation from family, and then a big embrace back into the folds. (no, I'm not done) Perhaps it's the way that alchohol can so readily mitigate my weary mind, but even a glass and a half fools my brain into thinking I am mildly intoxicated (though I am certain, "It's all in my head"). Anyway, I am sounding a tad morose in my list.

I have had joy, and a real, almost giddy, sense of belonging, followed by the heavy sigh of barely scraping by through the year, and then a resounding yell of triumph over an A- in Geograpy, that used to be a D+. A lack of poetry at this closing, and not nearly enough writing, far too many video games, a dash of insanity here and there, worry with every stare, understanding in every glare (poetry, ha!). I made some promises I didn't keep, got drunk once and felt it, and got kicked in the head about three times...but I'm still up, and I know there is someone that still loves me.

So happy new year. Resolutions:

Fight the old habits (nail-biting, I will defeat you yet!)
Work harder on getting a six-pack
Become a respectable tuba-player and a balanced musician and composer
Keep my word
And give out more hugs than anyone can count.

Thanks for the read. Have a great night, and don't get too drunk. Hahaha.
Over and Out,
Adam

Time Wasters of the Millennia (sp...oh screw it)

1) The Internet. Hell, you're wasting time right now reading this stuff. True, if you're family, you're reading it to see what's up, how I'm doing, and whether or not I've gone insane. If you are not family or friends, you are wasting time. Flash films, trailer sites, online gaming...heck, porn...all these things just waste time. True, a lot of them can fill us with valuable information, but what is valuable? Knowing when the next Harry Potter book's coming out, that's what!

2) Video-games. This one can be tough sometimes. Mainly because I love We Love Katamari. And I am not denouncing video games. Heck, for a long time, I wanted to make them...I kinda' still do. However, video-games are definitely, or at least can be, one of the most anti-social forms of time-wasting (at least the internet has AIM). What am I saying? Hello! MMORPGs have made the internet and video-games unusually eutectic with each other (Battle Net was first, mind you, but...). Any online gaming makes us feel that much more connected with the rest of the world. I mean, who doesn't love punching the lights out of giant magma monsters with dudes and dudettes from Australia and Japan. Now that's fun. That is, until you realize that it's 4 in the morning. Hmm, sleep much?

3) Television. Hmm. Where to begin? The evolution of television has been a double-edged sword. In many ways, I am thankful that I do not have a TV in my room. It allows me to devote my full attention to my studies or my friends. However, at the same time, I am nearly oblivious to the happenings around me. I don't know when movies come out, I never know what's going on on Lost, and I miss out on just about every season of the Amazing Race. BUT I must say, I don't miss sitcoms. Why? Because sitcoms today suck. I mean that. They are the biggest waste of time in the television industry because no one can write a script anymore.
But television has been the nation's biggest time waster since its inception. We, as a people, love to watch events. The tube can also be a great way to share history, though, and I commend its usefulness, and it's possible to find a happy medium in your viewing pleasure. It ties our culture together. I just dislike couch couscouses.

There aren't any hunter-gatherers left. No wandering samurai. No more need for young warriors with expressionless faces who speak with their noble actions and little spoken word. Maybe that's why they're so popular in fiction... I just can't shake the feeling that there is so much more I could be doing with my time.

Thus I return to one of my points from the beginning: there is something else. When you strip away all the shadows of success, and what it means to really live; when you think about human experience, learning from your mistakes, and picking yourself up when you fall. "It" is there. There is something else we, I should with my life. Something simpler. Life's too short to beat around it. You want something, work for it, work until you bleed battery acid, then work some more. Never take no for an answer. Don't forget your dreams, and always dream too high for reality.

There will always be a time to waste, but I won't waste my life. Not anymore. I have it in me to be something wonderful. So, "Be that man, (insert hot name here), be that man." And not until you finish your work, should you play.

I've had a tough semester, but I'm far from done. So here I go, dukes up, heart on fire, mind on ice. I'm off to study, thanks for reading my rant.
Over and Out,
Adam

"Let's get Adam drunk!" (part 2)

I find it interesting how many people in college find it absolutely acceptable to simply 'pass' a course. Maybe college is just their right of passage, so they don't have to strive above and beyond their best. Or maybe they're just innate geniouses who aren't being challenged (yeah, right). Whatever the cause, there are still too many people on this campus who don't have their priorities straight, and are wasting their parents' money (or their own).

I observed this the other night when I attended a get-together with some friends (in a completely controlled atmosphere) and had a little to drink. Now, I've been drunk before. I don't want to be again. I'm sure it was funny, but for me it was hell. I couldn't stand up straight. I became Sir Floppy Legs, and for someone whose vocabulary actually increases with inebriation, my speech had begun to slur. When your brain notices these things as they are occuring, it is a surreal experience, and a frustrating one at that. Imagine trying to help someone stand when you yourself can barely balance. Also imagine, if you will, simply trying to think straight without falling asleep. This was a time when sitting became the most attractive thing to do to my body. Only at the end of the night did I become nauseous, and I made sure to drink lots of water to flush out my system, so I thankfully had only a small headache the next morning.

My point here is that I had a lot of things planned for the weekend, and the majority of it was studious. I was going to finish projects, be uber-prepared for performance class, and memorize my a cappella parts. Thing was, I was going to accomplish these things by waking up early and working hard.
I didn't wake up until noon. I had a game at 3:30. We got back at 1:00 AM. There goes Saturday. I sleep in, again, due to sheer exhaustion, go to the gym, practice tutorial a smidgen, go to sisterhood stuff, then head back for more homework. I still didn't get much done.

So what did I learn out of all of this? There are multiple potentials in every human being. There are paths we can choose that will lead us down to excellence, but there are often sacrifices on the way. Do you sacrifice social status for excellence? That's my current question, but there are others. Such as: How does one achieve balance when your major requires you to be one-sided?
My major is such that I must practice every day, and do so on multiple instruments, if I hope to succeed. Ergo, I have no time to waste being drunk, and I have little respect for those that will waste valuable time getting wasted instead of bettering themselves. Partying is all well and good, but not when failure looms on the horizon.

That is my current state of mind.

In other news, I got to see The Island last night. Here is my summary: "Run!" The entire movie, with a few short-lived breaks in-between, was one gargantuan chase scene. Good music though.

Thanks for reading, and have a great day.
Over and Out,
Adam